You look up and the cat is already looking at you, and has been for some time. It is one of the more unsettling things about living with cats.
The stare is not one thing. Context and the rest of the body tell you which version you are getting, and the differences matter.
Affection
Between strange cats, direct eye contact is a challenge. With a trusted person it can be the opposite, and cats do seem to make that distinction.
The giveaway is the slow blink. Relaxed, half-closed eyes that slowly shut and open again is about as clear a statement of trust as a cat produces. Return it, and most cats will do it back. It is the closest thing to a mutual language you get with a cat.
Wanting something
Often the answer is completely practical. Cats work out very quickly that looking at you produces results, and they are patient about it.
- Near a mealtime, they are reminding you about the bowl.
- Sitting by a door, they want it opened.
- Sometimes it is simply play or attention.
A stare with a meow or a nudge attached is a request. Cats do not meow at each other much as adults, so meowing at a person is a behaviour developed specifically for us.
Watching
Even a thoroughly pampered house cat is built to observe. In the wild a great deal of the day goes on watching for movement, and indoors you are the most unpredictable thing available.
So a good deal of staring is simply tracking. They are working out whether you are about to get up, and whether that leads to the kitchen.
The warning version
Less common with an owner, and worth recognising because it is the one that ends in a scratch.
- Hard and completely unblinking, with the body tense rather than loose.
- Pupils either very wide, which suggests fear or arousal, or narrowed, which suggests focused aggression.
- Ears flattened or turned back, tail twitching or thumping.
The right response is to look away and give them room. Holding eye contact reads as accepting a challenge, and breaking it is not losing anything.
Reading the difference
The quick test is softness. A loving or curious cat is loose, with the eyes half closed or blinking normally. A warning cat is rigid and does not blink at all.
One last thing worth knowing: a cat that has started staring at nothing in particular, or pressing its head against a wall, is not communicating. That is a neurological sign and it needs a vet.
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